When Water Fails

One of the worst things that can happen to you, besides hitting your hip on the corner of a cabinet and screaming in deathly agony, or stubbing your toe on the car seats that lurk on your bedroom floor as you attempt to silently glide across the kitchen in the dark and having to hold in your deathly agonizing scream, or successfully navigating your baby brother's room in the middle of the night, stepping on a Lego, and trying to hold in but letting out your deathly agonizing scream anyway, has to do with a shower.

Showers are good. Why are they good? Showers are good because without them...life would be a big smelly buffalo herd. Imagine Los Angeles without showers. That would be like...pop tarts without frosting. Or something older and more vile. Wait that's not even possible. What could be worse than poptarts without frosting??

But sometimes, like any good thing, showers fail you. They end up being too short and your head is above the spout, or they end up having a continuous jet of high-powered water that blasts you in the nose like a fire hose, or they confuse their job with one of those metal spikey sprinklers on the roof of commercial bathrooms (the ones that supposedly spray water in the event of a fire...I've never seen one used, which is of questionable benefit) and manage to spray water all over the rest of the room, leaving you cold but dry in the middle of the shower.

The worst thing that can happen to you in the shower realm, is when, in the middle of a nice, warm, relaxing shower, you suddenly sense a shift in temperature. Your heart skips a beat: this is not possible. It can't be happening. NOT HERE!! But slowly, slowly the temperature of the water begins to drop. You crank the Warm handle wider and wider, but nothing works. Finally you need to accept the awefull truth: The hot water has run out, and within the minute, you'll be left standing under a raging Artic waterfall of a shower. Your mind finally gains control of the situation again, and the evacuation procedure begins: shampoo!! rinse!! no there's water in my eye!! it's getting colder!! hurry!! GET OUT OF THERE!! You crank the Warm handle wide open, the last spurt of hot water jets out, and you immediatly shut off the valves and leap out of the danger zone...

Oh wait. There's no towel.